I had finally got up the courage to tell Rachelle that I would like to write stuff for my appointments and then we could discuss them since I am better at writing how I feel. Now I wonder if that was a good idea. My last writing assignment was about my fear of being judged. It was hard to write, but I did it. I didn't get everything I wanted to say out, but I did the best that I could. It was a great paper, but now I am stuck on the next topic. I am suppose to write about the antidote for fear of being judged and find an image to go with it. I don't have any clue what to write. If I knew the antidote, then I wouldn't have this problem, would I? I have two weeks to write this and I don't have any ideas. I am stuck. It will suck if I go in there and have absoultly nothing written. I will be a failure. And that is horrible since this whole thing was my damn idea. Next time I should just keep my ideas to myself.
I still haven't gone to get my blood work done for my Psychiatrist. I am dreading it. I really don't want to do the drug test. I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have lied. Ughh!! The other reason I don't want to go do it is because I am scared to go by myself. I hate doing new things. I contstantly think that I am gonna go to the wrong place or do the wrong thing. Why do I have to do this? Why can't someone go with me? I think I am gonna try to go on Monday. I have to have blood work done for my Physical so maybe I will just do it all after that appointment. That is if I don't chicken out like I always do. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to go to the Hospital to do it. Maybe I can find somewhere else that my insurance will cover it. Why does insurance have to make things so damn difficult?
I think I might make a video asking if anyone has any ideas on my writing topic. I just need a jumpstart and some ideas of what to even write.
Perhaps, you should tell your psychiatrist that getting blood work is a hindrance for you. Perhaps, she can suggest a solution to that. And on the topic of doing things by yourself, have you ever thought of joining a local support group and perhaps someone there may be willing to go with you to these appointments/ or labs or whatever?
ReplyDeleteI usually drag my mom along with me. But I am proud of myself because I ended up going to get my blood work done all by myself. I am shocked that I did it. I don't even know about finding a support group, but even if I did I would probably freak out and end up not going. I am scared of new people.
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