I am feeling better now that the truck is fixed. Well, the main part anyways. The other problem will get fixed after the holidays. At least now I might be able to enjoy Christmas. I still have tons of stuff to do. I need to bake the browines I am taking to dinner and I have to wrap gifts still. I should probably wrap the gifts tonight so tomorrow after work all I have to do is bake the desserts. I was going to make them tonight but I am afraid that I will eat them all.
I am dreading work tomorrow. At 6 am we have a $200 food order to fill. Yuck. I am hoping that tomorrow goes by fast. I can't wait to have a day off since my last day off was spent being anxious.
I ended up writing a letter Rachelle (my therapist) about how I feel like we are not focusing on my problems. I don't know whether I should send it in the mail or give it to her at my next appointment. I don't want her to be mad at me. Hmmm. If I send it to her, maybe she will get the point and next Thursday not spend my whole session talking about stupid shit. She doesn't seem to listen to me. Maybe it is that she just doesn't understand me. I wonder if she will even take the letter seriously?
I guess that is pretty much it. I need to go do some wrapping. How fun!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Blah, Blah, Blah......
I don't know why I even bother trying to do blogs. No one is interested in what I have to say. I feel like the plague. No matter what website I go on no one ever reads or responds to what I have to say. But I am gonna give this a try.
I am tired of being anxious. I feel like my life is falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. No one listens to me, not even my therapist. I try to tell her about my anxiety, but she just tells me to talk back to the "worry bullies." I tried to tell her that I can't, the worry takes up all of my thoughts and I can't focus on anything else. I dropped my Psychiatrist because he was a jackass and didn't even care to know what my problems were. I was especially pissed off at him when I found out that he claimed my initial visit was 45 minutes and it was really only 10-15 minutes. Ughh!! I need to tell my therapist that if she doesn't want to focus on my problems that I am gonna boot her too. She is too busy talking about stupid shit and doesn't focus on my problems. I think she talks more than I do and it's usually about the same stuff we talked about at the last session. I am planning on writing her a letter because I am not very good at telling people how I feel out loud. I am a way better writer than speaker. My next appointment with Rachelle is on the 30th, so I guess I will see how that goes. If I make it that long.
I wish my Psychiatrist would have given me more Xanax. It works for me better than this Buspar and Zoloft he gave me. But he says its addictive and that he won't give it to me. C'mon my one and only script he gave me lasted almost 3 months. I am definitely not abusing it. I keep having anxiety attacks and I am cutting myself more than normal. I just need to talk to someone, but my friends don't have time for me and hell I don't even know if they are really my friends. They don't hang out with me or text me anymore. Am I that much of a downer that no one wants to get close to me??
I am keeping my fingers crossed that our whatever is wrong with our truck isn't too expensive. We need 2 vehicles, but we are broke. I just wish things would go good for once. I am tired of life throwing lemons at my head.... it really hurts. Why does this shit have to happen to me? Especially around Christmas time. I am about tempted to take back all the Christmas gifts and sleep right through it.
I guess that is about it for this rant. I gotta go clean the house now. Yippie!!!
I am tired of being anxious. I feel like my life is falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. No one listens to me, not even my therapist. I try to tell her about my anxiety, but she just tells me to talk back to the "worry bullies." I tried to tell her that I can't, the worry takes up all of my thoughts and I can't focus on anything else. I dropped my Psychiatrist because he was a jackass and didn't even care to know what my problems were. I was especially pissed off at him when I found out that he claimed my initial visit was 45 minutes and it was really only 10-15 minutes. Ughh!! I need to tell my therapist that if she doesn't want to focus on my problems that I am gonna boot her too. She is too busy talking about stupid shit and doesn't focus on my problems. I think she talks more than I do and it's usually about the same stuff we talked about at the last session. I am planning on writing her a letter because I am not very good at telling people how I feel out loud. I am a way better writer than speaker. My next appointment with Rachelle is on the 30th, so I guess I will see how that goes. If I make it that long.
I wish my Psychiatrist would have given me more Xanax. It works for me better than this Buspar and Zoloft he gave me. But he says its addictive and that he won't give it to me. C'mon my one and only script he gave me lasted almost 3 months. I am definitely not abusing it. I keep having anxiety attacks and I am cutting myself more than normal. I just need to talk to someone, but my friends don't have time for me and hell I don't even know if they are really my friends. They don't hang out with me or text me anymore. Am I that much of a downer that no one wants to get close to me??
I am keeping my fingers crossed that our whatever is wrong with our truck isn't too expensive. We need 2 vehicles, but we are broke. I just wish things would go good for once. I am tired of life throwing lemons at my head.... it really hurts. Why does this shit have to happen to me? Especially around Christmas time. I am about tempted to take back all the Christmas gifts and sleep right through it.
I guess that is about it for this rant. I gotta go clean the house now. Yippie!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)