Fuck this shitty ass life

I don't know what to fucking do anymore.  I went to my therapist today and we talked about me doing the partial hospitalization program again.  I really want too.  I talked my way out of it the last time because work wouldn't give me any hours.  But this time I would tell work that I need the hours and work me almost my normal amount of hours.  But my husband doesn't like that idea.  He wants me to get a second job to help the money situation.  True the money situation is my biggest stressor, but  shouldn't my mental health come first?  I don't know maybe I am wrong.  But I think getting a second job might just make things worse.  They haven't called me back anyways, so why sit and wait for them to finally decide to call me.  They prolly won't anyways.  I am sitting here cutting myself with a damn kitchen knife.  Ok I can't really consider it cutting it is more like cat scratches.  But I can't believe that my husband would say that.  It's totally fucked up.  I just wish I was fucking normal.  I hate being the crazy fucking bitch.  fuck this life.....